through and through

How good it is to be known through and through. Deep inside of my core being there is a burning desire to  be known. It's something I can only attempt to explain...  The book the The People Code by Dr. Taylor Hartman scratches the surface when he talks about the motivation behind peoples actions. According to his book my personality type is the color Blue and blue's motivation comes from relationships, which makes perfect sense to me. My whole life has been marked by people. *everyone's life is marked by people  But what I mean is every huge turning point in my life, every deep hurt/failure, every triumph, and every memory is wrapped up in a different person that touched my life. This also explains how when I am hurt by someone I carry it with me, its not just a memory to me, it is that person, their face, their words, even their smell... it is everything they are that hurt me. I know that Jesus Christ has forgiven me therefore I forgive others. I do forgive them but the after thoughts are painfully hard to deal with. However when that person makes it clear that they want to set things right I can instantly dismiss anything of the past; no matter how painful it was because once again I am wrapped up in what they said, their face, their countenance, and that is enough for me. Then my memory of them is on the fact that they patched things up and I hold them in  high regard.

It is a strange thing to live like this.... Just recently I had an awesome opportunity to talk with one of my dear friends on this very subject. She is the kind who knows my heart so very well, as I like to say she knows me through and through... The best part is it is a mutual feeling. When we talk it is refreshing, it is safe, and one can just breathe and know its okay. Some times it seems like she knows exactly what I need to hear and she actually says it!  Anyhow we both reminisced about past times and how sometimes when we miss it all so much, when we miss each other so much it brings "pangs"  definition being: emotional pain that you can actually feel. You see we live far apart now and our lives our going in different directions. But somehow we still carry this connection that I know is only a God thing. It is as if nothing else matters because our friendship still remains. We both know that if anything happened one would drop everything in a heartbeat to be there for the other and visa versa. It is incredible; truly. I could not be more thankful for the joy that it brings. I know it is a gift from my Heavenly Father. He knew I couldn't make it through this life without *and i'm being dead serious when I say that... Thank you Jesus