Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.
How true is that? So I realized I started to write this blog last year but somehow I never got around to finishing it. It's about time riiiight? so here it is a bunch of cool quotes from Charles Spurgeon and some insight from me... haha at least I hope it's "insight"!!!!
Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us.
(so the first quote and the second I can almost combine in the sense that I feel as though I have defeated myself when I let anxiety get the best of me. Not only do I suffer from my own fears but it also effects the people that are closest to me; which is what hurts the most. It makes me want to disappear. It's kind of like the dramatic movie scene where the guy ignores the girl and she's like, "Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me?!?!?!" and then they guy says, "It's because I love you, that is why I can't be with you!" Although the girl would be more than willing to be in harms way just to be with him. Sometimes I feel like maybe people would be better off not knowing me, not having to deal with... well.... me )
huge sighs... moving right along, so on another note I have been challenged recently in my thinking.... basically a little pact between God and I. It is simple just that I would remember the price He paid for me and therefore end the negative feed back that eats me alive inside of my head. Out with the bad!!!! In with the good! and breathe!!!! *no this is not YOGA! :)
God has blessed my life with random reminders in the past 3 months I have had some odd encounters that have drastically helped me with my thoughts and my relationship with God.
The first being: I got hit by a car while standing/talking with a friend in the church parking lot. Odd right? out of all places lol but in any case it reminded me of how fragile life is and how it is a gift.
The Second thing happened on the same night: after getting hit by the car I headed back to my car with a sore wrist and this guy was walking in the same direction (I've know this guy for 4 years but i only run into him when i'm in dire need or i'm making a huge choice like going to school in Peru or things like that and he always pops in speaks words of truth and then I don't see him for another 6-8 months?!?! its crazy I don't even know his name? so when I saw him I knew something was up... He talked about how easy it is to let "stuff" get in the way of what God's called you to do he spoke of some mistakes he feels like he has made but is redeeming now then he stopped and just looked at me.... and said, "You know... I think i'm supposed to tell you this: you are a light, and for some reason you don't see it. Don't forget that you are light no matter where you are..." I was taken back, I got in my car and cried.
The third thing is this: Just last week I went to a coffee shop I was meeting up with a friend to play some music. As we were playing/talking I notice these two guys staring at me... I mean like WHOA?!!? what the heck?!! it kind of freaked me out... while my friend took a phone call one of the guys comes up to me puts out his hand and says, " Hi, my name is Bo and God told me to tell you that you are deeply loved." after this the other guy came up to me and said, "My name is Russel and I see that when you work with children you find such joy" then Bo spoke up and said," I just get this feeling that right now you are in this place where you are being gardened, but God is preparing you for something amazing, He is going to use you." Again taken back I told them how amazing this was, how I had been struggling with remembering that God loves me and that I'm not a failure and that even if I was His love never fails nor changes. I told them how God had earlier reminded me about me being a Light for Him. The guys smiled we were all a little teary eyed and we talked about how we can't disappoint God He loves us and then, in the middle of this coffee shop we held hands and prayed. It was incredible I thanked God and praised him, I basked in the fact that we have such a Loving Father such an incredible Father. That day I just sat back, looked around and praised God... what great lengths He travels just to remind us that we are His.
Praise is the beauty of a Christian. What wings are to a bird, what fruit is to the tree, what the rose is to the thorn, that is praise
to a child of God.”—1895, Sermon #2437
