will write soon.... lol

Beautiful Skies...

We live on the border of eternity. And we need to have that in our minds. What is the eternal value? What is the eternal effect?- Chuck Smith

I love the beautiful sunsets here in Cajamarca, Peru. God is so incredible, and yet we so often forget, our lives can become so busy...  When I see his artwork in the sky I am blown away, just awestruck. The time we have here, is short, and it is a gift; lets use it for His glory. Don't take life for granted; know that is is only passing by, and you never know when your time will come; when He will call you home.
I want to challenge you in this day to think about the life he has given, and what things really matter? What if today was all you had, would you be ready to go home? 
I know in my own heart I long for Him, but as Paul says, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain" As much as I want to, just be with Him, at the same time I feel as though there is so much to be done here. I haven't even scratched the surface! There are so many people out there who have never felt true love before. I want to show them Christ, and live life to the fullest. After all that is what Christ has given us right? John 10:10 "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly"
 Life abundantly... I love being a child of God!

Awaiting...

Someone once told me that, its okay to be lonely. they said, "Maybe in this moment God wants you to be content in him and in this time he has given you." It is so hard to be content when your heart aches. But just like this song, the flesh distracts me but when I think about Jesus, I am filled with joy. I love how it says

 "I left my boat in haste to meet you" I am so like Peter in John 21:7-8 

The disciples are all fishing and they are not catching anything, then Jesus appears on the land and tells them to cast their net on the other side. As they do they catch a huge load, then John says to Peter, "It is the Lord!" Instantly Peter jumps into the water and swims to him as the rest of the disciples bring the load of fish in... I love this and it is so my soul. I just want to run to him with all of me. 

Hebrews 11:6 says it is impossible to please God without faith.  

So Lord please increase my faith! I don't know what your plans are for me but I know I want your desires to be mine. I want to be your servant. Amen  

I was listening to a Chuck track (sermon by Chuck Smith) and he was talking about Hebrews 11:33-38 (where it list awesome things people by faith have conquered and then it list the horrible things people by faith have endured) Chuck says,
"Your faith in God is not always going to bring you tremendous triumph and victories over the enemy, but your faith in God will sustain you through any kind of exigency that you may face in life. That's the thing. Do I have the faith, the quality of faith that endures? "


"We're sure of what we cannot, cannot see. We push on through this waist land, without it there's no victory! Here I am once again alive..." 

Hike

A couple days ago  a bunch of us went for a hike and it was so incredible. I loved it!

 God, is so amazing. His creation is beautiful. We got witness a little too! 

I was so proud of one of the peruvian guys he's so funny! 

We have nicknames he calls me Dama (which means like lady) 

and I call him Cabellero (which means gentlemen)  anyway hehe  

He got up in front of a large crowd equivalent to going to the food court at a mall

 and just started preaching the gospel!  and not in a "slam it down your face way" 

but in a gentle loving way.... it was so cool to see and so convicting/encouraging for me. 

This was just all in all i  really good time for me to get away....  here's some pictures... 

and theres more on facebook lol you can see how BIT up my legs are on facebook

 lol its pretty crazy!

the waterfall we hiked to!

Burros!

These are the ladies that work in the fields and carry everything on their backs from children to heaps of alfalfa

Creepy blue eyes but soo cute!

Aniyka is my little buddy, she is 8 and their family just moved here. Its really hard on her but its so cool to see  God maturing her, and her faith!

All of us who went on the hike...  

One day...

Okay okay I know this might seem a little uhh.. not uh I dunno? but the truth is one day in the future I will treasure this song. It's as if I can almost hear him singing it to  me.  And it makes me smile. So for this blog as sappy as it sounds Im just going to put verses (: the sappiest ones of course... 


The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:18+22+24)
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing^b her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5) 
( p.s. I love the whole story of how Isaac and Rebekah met)
And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah's tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother. (Genesis 24:67)
Song of Songs repeats this warning: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you (Song of Songs 4:7)
You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace (Song of Songs 4:9)
"I am my beloved's, And his desire is for me." (Song of Songs 7:10)
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame (Song of Songs 8:6)
But as for now and forever... these next verses our my comfort and joy!
For your Maker is your husband--the LORD Almighty is his name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5)
"I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD" (Hosea 2:19-20)

hmmm.

faithNoun/fāTH/

1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof

In the Bible it always talks about having faith like a child right? But although I do feel like a child most of the time I realize that my faith is strong for everything else but myself. I can have faith for my friends because I know God will work things out for them. But when it comes to the work He is doing in my heart all I can see is my failures. Is God not bigger than my shortcomings? Is his grace only sufficient for others? I know He is the almighty one He can do anything.... But nothing will happen if I don't have faith. Think about the story of the woman in Mathew 9:20-22

Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, "If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed." Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

The Lord must be willing as well. If i truely want this I must also believe that he wants this too.  Matthew 8:2:3

A man with leprosy [fn] came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.
Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man"I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured [fn] of his leprosy.

So many things strike me about these passages... Jesus touched the untouchable, He was willing, and immediately he helped these people. I know I want to change, I know I want to be new, but I don't know how to get past this brick wall that is constantly in my face.

Jesus, if you are willing please change me. I don't want to be like this anymore. You know my heart perfectly, you see all the flaws, but Lord please heal me inside. I cant take the aching tearing pain anymore. Increase my faith. Free me from the past and help me move on. I so need you. God here I am all of me may Your will be done. In Jesus name, Amen

Love Letter From God

Love Letter From God
Everyone wants to give themselves completely to someone…to have a good deep relationship with another…to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to a Christian, no…not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me. (Matthew 6:33)

Having an intimate, personal and unique relationship with Me… Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, then you will be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united completely with another until you are united completely with Me, above all other desire and longing. Allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan that exsists…one you could not possibly imagine! I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to give it to you. You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things…Keep listening and learning the things I promise and mean. Be patient…that is all.

Don't be anxious (Matt. 6:34), don't worry, don't look around at the things others have gotten, or what I have given them. Don't look at the things you think you want, just keep looking up to Me…or you will miss what I want to show you. And then…when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see…until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (which I am working even at this moment to have you ready at the same time), you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. Until you are both satisfied with Me and the life I want you to have, you will not be able to have that perfect love. And dear one…I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and enjoy an everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that only I can offer.

Know that I love you…I am God Almighty.
Believe and be satisfied.

Battered, bruised and unclothed in self-pity. -Dead Poetic

Things I've learned... 
  1. Sin always hurts. Whether its you or others, whether its past or present; To Jesus it is nails, thorns, and His  blood on our cross.
 2. The more you focus on self the lonelier you feel.
 3. Serving others defeats depression!
 4. Life has nothing to do with you.
 5. Being blessed isn't a matter of the things you have been given, but being thankful for the things you already have.
 6. The first shall be last. Everything we understand is completely backwards in God's eyes.
 Last but not least (haha  there are truly many more but for now these 7 are on my heart)
 7. Perspective, it changes everything... Having the correct perspective is vital to following after Christ.

You know... God is so good He has always proven himself to be faithful to me. I don't understand why I ever doubt him or why I constantly look to others for comfort, for love. Below I put some lyrics to one of my favorite songs be Dead Poetic it is called Take this Breath...
Take this breath for me because 
I cannot bear to do it alone
Pray this prayer for me because
I have no strength to go on
You wont understand me
And I wont understand completely
You don't know what its like
To die inside so completely Battered bruised and unclothed in self pity
But I cannot change this city
Downtrodden upon like an insect infect
I know so much I haven't realized yet
I can't go on no I've tried and tried take this breath God dry my eyes 
Take this breath for me (Take this breath for me)
Take this breath for me (and hold me close and hold me close) 

 Lord... Please hold me close. amen

To Whom it May Concern

(its a great song by Underoath! well if you don't like screemo then you might like this piano version of it)

Today after lunch I went outside and the sun was brilliant and oh so warm... I just had to stay in it. I sprawled out on the cement, tummy down and soaked it in. It was wonderful. I hadn't really thought about how this might look for someone else to see a person face down on the cement. (or if i did think of it I was too comfortable to care) I was so enjoying myself just thanking God for all he has done, for how blessed I am even though I don't know why. It was truly wonderful.... Then well.... my roommate came up with a gasp and was like Brandy! She stops and then says, "Well my first reaction was to freak out! Then I saw it was you and I had to think.. Brandy would do something like that..." lol She then went on to say It's something she totally would've done too except well not in public!!! Haha so funny... :) I'm so content here. Thank you Lord

El Camino

This is the path I take here in Peru, its my time to be with Him.

Hey, so today is a little different. Sometimes I get into these moods... these sentimental ones lol  and I guess you could say I'm like a banana oh so mushy!  haha its true... just ask any of my friends. But anyway I am listening to Forever Reign by Hillsong, it is an incredible song if you don't know it here is the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ3KIXadMoY
The Chorus says "and Oh I'm running to Your arms I'm running to Your arms the riches of your love will always be enough. Nothing compares to Your embrace Light of the world forever reign." I so want that. I long to run to his arms. Have you ever desired that? Desired to just be held by the one who loves you. The only one who truly loves you, Jesus. He gave himself for me. You might find this strange but I long to run into the arms of God *I know I know He is GOD i mean He made this whole place. But within me is this indescribable yearning to be wrapped up in His arms. The hope of that one day happening is what keeps me going.  I might be alone in this world but I know one day I will feel perfect love and I already feel it in my heart. But one day face to face I will see Him. We serve a good God. He is incredible. Jesus I love you.

Oltrema

Currently listening to Oltrema by Ludovico Einaudi. He has become my favorite composer by far! Oltrema means: The maximum or minimum value of a function. Being here in Cajamarca, Peru is wonderful! I absolutly love it and there is no doubt in my mind that this was meant to be. However I am struggling with being all that i can be. Romans 8 has to be my favorite chapter in the Bible and  right now I'm listening to Chuck Smith's commentary on it. (his commentary on both chapter 7 and chapter 8 are equally challenging) But on chapter 8 he posses this question, "Am I lead by the Spirit of God?" so then  I have to ask myself are my choices based on God or are they based on my desires and then I pray about it? I don't want to be run by the things i desire but i want my desires to be His. Sighs, It's so easy to just feel like a failure because I'm not the child of God that i want to be and that's when Romans 8:1 comes in. (If Romans is my favorite book and chapter 8 is my favorite chapter then verse 1 has to be my favorite verse)

Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit "

And then Pastor chuck says,"I think that this particular verse has meant more to me than almost any other passage of scripture, because I lived so many years of my Christian life in constant condemnation. Because, though my spirit was indeed willing, my flesh was weak. "
 I cant agree with him more. That has been a constant struggle for me but we are free from condemnation. God wants us to move on, He wants us to give over our sins our failings and to rest in His salvation His forgiveness  Whoever reads this I want you to know, the price has already been paid you no longer have to dwell on your mistakes Christ has nailed them to the cross once you repent and you are free.

Houston, TX

Well, its been a while since I've written and a lot has happened! I was working in Indiana at a Summer Camp where I felt the Refiner's fire in full blaze. Afterwards I headed to Ohio to visit family, friends, and friends I consider family. It was a blessed time no doubt. The flames resided and this pottery project was dipped in cool water. I am in awe of how good He is. Just when you think you can't do it He provides exactly what you need.
With hope surging through my veins i guess you could say the twinkle in my eye returned as God covered the expenses of my trip home and then sum... :)
*August 12th at 4AM Michael, Scott, and I left IN After 18 hours of driving we  arrived in Denver Colorado Friday evening and we SLEPT!!!! its was oh so nice!  (shout out to Bryce's family thank YOU!!!) they let us crash at their house.  I was so happy to be done driving but even more so to see my dear friend Mia!!! It was so so so good to see her. The next day we had planned on going for a hike a BIG hike. We woke up bright and early and headed to Mount Evans. This hike would be about 14 miles one way and 14 thousand feet in elevation! Well we gave it our best shot and made it about 13,000 feet but then altitude sickness got the best of Michael so we turned back  It was quite the adventure ill have to write that down in detail sometime) August 14th Sunday we left at 1pm encountered some car trouble which  added a few hours to our trip but eventually we made it home in Cali around 10 am. After that the events were a blur. Washed my Car watched my parents softbal game hung out with cousins visited with grandparents did some POWER SHOPPING with Mom!  (THANK YOU MOMMY!) and then it was off to unpacking and repacking.  Thursday i was going to fly to Peru for my last semester of Bible college.  I think i got about 2 hours of sleep then woke up at 3 AM got everything ready and at 4 we left... My first flight went well second flight was delayed (and i realized i totally forgot my Spanish bible and a dictionary ugg.....)   So  my second flight was delayed as we landed i rushed off to find my gate then as i was running i stopped in front of the screen to check on it and then i read in big letters CANCELLED!  AAAH   lol   I don't know if i was relieved because i didnt have to run or if i was like REALLY?!?!?!  but anyhow things worked out pretty well.. I was rescheduled for the same flight tomorrow  and i got a free hotel stay a long with free food tickets! :)   hence the HOUSTON, TX status... im rather enjoying m stay here... resting eating and resting more. God is amazing I really needed this time to think about everything to get my mind ready for being back in Peru. I love Him so much.   He's just so so so GOOD.  Anyhow... I am now chilling at the Airport waiting for my flight! I will try to keep you updated!

Heart of hearts...

In my heart of hearts I long to be free. In my heart of hearts I know I am.  There is a fear that keeps me questioning, there is a doubt that makes me cringe. But just when I am at the end You remind me to keep going, and I start again. 

If brokenness could heal me if sorrow I could befriend, then my arms are open I welcome them in. If i had to be blind  in order to follow; if uncertainty was key;  then let Your grace be sufficient, enough for me.

         Thoughts are jumbled. This week has been a blur and honestly everything I think and feel is so fuzzy I cant really situate it but when I tried to write what happened the above poem thing came out so I will leave it at that.  

No matter what the circumstances are; I know that He is there.

I am never alone.  

Hinds Feet in High Places...

The Shepherd laughed too, "I love doing preposterous things," He replied, "Why, I don't know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection..." 
This book makes me think a lot! if you haven't read it then... What are you doing reading my blog!?!? go read it! haha but as a forewarning it Is an allegory so be prepared. I think its hard to get into but once you do you wont be disappointed. You might be surprised at how easily applicable Much-afraid's story is to your own. 


I feel as though often times I dont know what to do or where to go.... but more often that not He has already shown me the way; if only I was willing to trust Him, to take His hand and Go.... 

134 'am

Can't sleep. lol actually i don't want to. sighs I just found out a good friend of mines husband was given 3 to 5 days to live.  If that doesn't put things into perspective then i don't know what else would. Im currently watching a movie called pay it forward. The gears are turning but sighs  i dunno...  I think right now my heart just hurts but why is it always about me though... There's so much i don't get, so much i don't want to, but where do i go from here? That is what i would really like to know.
 Okay Switching gears, in the car today with a person Ive only known for 5 days I was struck with some deep thoughts. She asks me, "Have you ever thought of pursuing a music career?" I paused before answering, she looked over and was like "Whoa you just lit up! I saw it!" and with that I blushed because well the truth is I cant even play in front of people. I get so scared. I'm not really good at much of anything, but I am okay at everything. The jack of all trades the master of none, its a stupid saying but you know, in God's kingdom the first shall be last and the last shall be first. I think when  God made me....
 Romans 9:21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use? 
 Maybe He made me this way so that i could never get prideful or maybe his plans are just more than i could ever fathom..... did you know Romans 11:32 says, "For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.


We serve a God who loves to save; to show mercy. My heart is aching but I know I can let it rest in the hands of the one who will show me mercy. Jesus I need you.

Kentucky

Randomly I ended up in Kentucky for 4th of July who would've guessed?!?! haha I love the randomness of my life there truly is never a dull moment. The beginning of this summer  3 friends and I drove from our homes in California, to Indiana to work at a summer camp called Springhills. Springhills didn't need me for the week of the fourth of July so I was free and worried! (worried because i wouldn't be getting paid for a week and i didn't know where I would stay) But once again God showed me his faithfulness! A girl I barely knew invited me to stay at her house even though she wouldn't be there, but not only that she also got a job for me working with her dad. Its incredible!  So here I am chilling at Jamie's house in Noblesville, IN. for the Fourth of July we visit Jamie's sister in Kentucky at a private lake!  I love the Kentucky accents they are great! It was so much fun and we even had our own fireworks show. As we sitting around watching the fireworks all of a sudden the box misfired SIDEWAYS! one shot right by me so  i moved back thinking it was just one misfire then all of a sudden it just starts launching them out into where we were sitting! we all RAN in different directions. (kind of like when you spray a line of ants with windex) it was quite comical but oh so scary! one girl got hit and had a little burn mark. (there was about 20 of us there) The fireworks were quite eventful and we all had a good laugh afterwards when we were safe!
      Off in the distance i looked up and saw some of Gods fireworks... The lightning was so incredible... It jsut lit up the sky. I love how His fireworks are louder, brighter, and way more awe inspiring!
 We serve a good King.

CON CORRECTO EREGOS SOM

Its latin.... it means I am therefore I do....   kind of the story of my life i guess you could say...   the rap artist Lecrae puts it best  in his song Hands High "Folks was looking at me like I’m crazy Yep that’s my name, that’s the way God made me" When given one word to describe me crazy happens to be the first choice of many. While that may be true I am a bit crazy underneath it all I have a lot going on. Its not just pure insanity haha but I am Brandy therefore... well therefore here goes my blog! I figured people need to know there is a method to my madness.